HAPPY HAUSFRAU: Plans Gone Awry

Usually when I pull on my Happy Hausfrau pants, I have it together. My projects tend to go off without a hitch, and they end up here, at Blogging Barefoot, with lots of pretty pictures while I brag about my housewifery prowess.

This is not one of those times.

I have a dirty little secret. Different from the microwave secret. This one lurks in my pantry. I let it sleep there, in a pile of its own filth on the floor. I feed it regularly – sometimes weekly, sometimes more, sometimes less. It looks like this:

…this is just a drop in the bucket, folks.

And that’s just a fraction of it. I couldn’t bear to let you see the unabridged truth. I’ll give it to you in words instead.

I have a stash of plastic grocery bags. Like, hundreds of them. I’ve always wanted to be a well-meaning citizen of the planet who uses re-usable bags instead of the landfill demons that have infiltrated my house, but somehow I’ve just never gotten there. And in my shame, I’ve never been able to bring myself to throw them away. At least if they’re in my closet, they’re not in a dump somewhere. Right?

Thing is, I’ve run out of room. They’re literally creeping out from under the door, like the tentacles of a squid who outgrew its aquarium.

I can’t take it anymore.

Then I saw this idea on Pinterest (where else?), and in a moment of housewifery glory saw myself in a plastic-bag free home. Here’s how my thought process went:

(1) I’ll make this cool thing to put in my car and the hubster’s car.

(2) I’ll FINALLY buy the reusable grocery bags and quit using the plastic ones.

(3) Eventually, like in a year or six, we’ll have gone through the 14,000,000,000 plastic bags I’ve accumulated over time, and

(4) I’ll be free of them! Free, I tell you! Like a bird, or a lobster, or maybe even a kids lost first tooth.

Free.

So, I set off to do this project. And immediately ran into problems.

The first was since we don’t use antiseptic wipes in our house (good ol’ soap and water for us, thanks), I didn’t have a perfectly portioned container. No worries. I’m good at improvisation. An old formula canister would work just fine – I could figure out how to manipulate the folding of the bags, easy peasy.

Enter problem #2: No scrap fabric that I was willing to part with. Solution? A Boden catalog. I flipped through its pages, hunting for brightly colored pictures that I could paste onto the canister.

It’s not dry in this picture, but trust me, it doesn’t get any prettier.

What I ended up with was something that looked like a kindergartener’s gift to her teacher. That is, if she didn’t like the teacher very much.

Third problem: I was too over-eager when cutting the lid for the plastic bags to come through. Must have been channelling a little Jack the Ripper because I ended up with half a lid instead of a whole.

So, failure. And I still had this behemoth pile of bags mocking me from under the pantry door.

Couple facts about me. I’m pretty (obviously). I’m stubborn. And I don’t mind failing, as long the failure’s leading toward something. I wouldn’t say I like failing, but it’s not the worst thing in the world. AS LONG AS IT’S LEADING SOMEWHERE.

Which meant I couldn’t let those goddam bags win.

Enter Owl. Or, Mr. Owl if it suits you.

My sister gave me Owl awhile back. She also gave me matching salt and pepper shakers, but they don’t play a part in this story. I don’t remember what they were a gift for, but I’ve loved them since the day they came into my life.

Owl moonlights as a cookie jar. If I remember correctly, he arrived chock full of Oreos. The DoubleStuff kind. He hasn’t held a cookie since. In a family of six, any time cookies are made or bought, the likelihood of them surviving an hour out of the oven or box are slim to none. A cookie jar is useless. So Mr. Owl has spent most of his life empty. For a time he held K-Cups for our Keurig, but with four kids to manage all day every day, I go through caffeine like Joan Collins goes through husbands. K-Cups last only slightly longer than cookies.

As I was glaring at my ugly infant-formula-canister-I-hate-you-Kindergarten-teacher creation, the owl seemed to call to me. Hoot, hoot! Use me! Use me!

I pondered the notion. It wouldn’t be as glamorous as the portable versions touted on Pinterest, but it would be better than the terrifying no-man’s-land in my kitchen pantry.

So I pulled out the bags. I folded and rolled, folded and rolled until my owl was fuller than he’d ever been. Check out the look of satisfaction on his decapitated head. He’s positively glowing.

I do, however, have one last dirty little secret to share with y’all. The bags that didn’t fit inside Mr. Owl – roughly 12 million of them – ended up in the trash. I couldn’t deal with them anymore, so I did the thing I hate, and sent them away.

*hangs head in shame*

I did it, though, with the promise to myself that next time I shop (which will be soon, based on the ridiculous amount of food two pre-teen boys can manage to snarf), I’ll purchase re-usable bags, and make ‘em my go-to for grocery shopping. And next time I’m feeling the need to splurge, I’m gonna head over to BlueAvacado and treat myself to their shopping kit. Awesomesauce!

Thanks for chilling with me today, and forgiving my flaws…

The Happy Hausfrau

P.S. For more things that make this Hausfrau Happy, check out my Pinterest boards: Useful Stuff/Ideas, CraftyGirl, and Squeaky Clean

Happy Hausfrau: Make the Hair Go AWAY!

I had to have a dog.

Over four years ago, at 34 weeks pregnant with my third bundle of  joy, there was still something missing from my life.

A cold wet nose.  A wagging tail.  Heavy breathing.

Okay, well maybe a little too much heavy breathing had something to do with the fact that I was 34 weeks pregnant for the third time, but I’m a lady (sometimes) and would never talk about such things (*cough* liar *cough*).

After a surge of hormones that left me weeping in fear that my man-children would never know the joy of a loyal dog (though they had known the frustrations of disloyal ones), I went in search of the perfect dog.  For free.  On Craigslist.

Some higher power must have been looking out for me, because, really.  Do I need to repeat that?  FREE DOG.  ON CRAIGSLIST.  What could possibly go wrong?

But somehow we scored canine gold.

Ginger Suzanne, aka GinnySue

The day I met Ginger (aka, GinnySue), it was love at first sight – for me.

The day GinnySue met the Hubster, it was love at first sight – for her.

The day the Hubster met GinnySue he knew his days of living in a dog-hair-free home were over.

The Hubster and I. Awwww, aren’t we cute?

(By the way, this is a real testament to how much the Hubster loves me.  He’s not an animal person – not by any stretch.  He’d be completely content to never have a pet in the house, ever.  But I love animals – especially doggies and horses – and grew up with at least one dog in the house my whole childhood.  He puts up with my furry addiction purely out of love for me, which is so, so sweet.)

The first few years of GinnySue living with us were…rough.  And sometimes icky.  Her health was poor.  She’d not been seriously neglected by her previous family, but they hadn’t been great to her, either.  When she joined our family she had some problems that left much of her poor body furless, her ears would have eebed out even those with strong constitutions, and she enjoyed a steady diet of her own poo.  A really, really disgusting habit that has been hell to break.  Thankfully, she’s figured out that we’re more than happy to feed her on a regular basis and now only enjoys this rancid indulgence semi-regularly – like holidays (she celebrates Festivus), and the occasional casual Friday.

Now that she’s a normal healthy senior citizen, she’s got a gorgeous full body of hair (as opposed to previous years when her rump was so bare and pink she looked as if she were part baboon).  And now that we’re on the cusp of summer, that gorgeous full body of hair has found its way to our floor, and floorboards, and crevices in our stairs.

It’s EVERYWHERE.

It’s GROSS.

It’s got to go.

So, I’m trying a couple new things.

DUSTING WITH A DRYER SHEET.  The website I got this idea from promised that dryer sheets are a hair magnet – and guess what…

They totally are.

I especially loved using them in the creases of our carpeted stairs, and where the floorboards meet the wall.  We live in a quad and have SO MANY stairs.  Ginny’s hair really loves to accumulate in those places, where the vacuum has a hard time reaching.  This little trick pulled the hair out of the crevices easily, without just spreading the hair elsewhere.  Not to mention how fresh and happy it smells.  Love it!

The second thing I tried was BRUSHING THE CARPET BEFORE VACUUMING.  The same website suggested using a few drops of fabric softener to a spray bottle of water, spraying the carpet, and then brushing it with a stiff-bristled brush or broom (I used a clean shop brush attached to a broom handle).  We don’t use liquid fabric softener, so I made a little of my own using a variation of this recipe (link) – which, by the way, smelled so great (and was so flipping affordable) I’m going to seriously consider making my own in the future.

Once the softener was made, I put it in a spray bottle (two turkey baster’s worth), and filled the rest with water.  Then, spray, brush, brush, spray, brush, brush…

So here’s the deal about brushing the carpet this way:

IT.  IS.  AMAZING.

We vacuum around here about every other day…and it’s almost enough to keep up with GinnySue’s shedding.  But even with our frequent, thorough vacuuming, I was astounded by the amount of hair this concoction pulled up, even in places Ginny doesn’t frequent.  After a good brushing, followed by the vacuum, our carpets looked like new.  And I don’t mean that they looked pretty good.

I mean they looked like new.

I’m in love.  LOVE, I tell you.

And BONUS:

I’m pretty convinced that the concoction of homemade fabric softer and water is basically what Febreeze is.  Our house smells delicious, and in a moment of Happy Hausfrau bravery, I went ahead and misted our furniture and curtains with the stuff.  NO discoloration, NO sticky residue, FABULOUS smelling furnishings.

Screw love.  This is downright idolatry.  *glances upward, fearing lightning bolt*

So, my dear readers, this is one Happy Hausfrau experiment that went absolutely, beautifully, without-a-hitch PERFECTLY.  I really hope y’all give these tricks a try!

Happy cleaning,

Me

GUEST POST: Move over Vinegar, and give Baking Soda some love! by Tameri Etherton

Hi y’all!  I’m super-psyched to introduce you to Tameri Etherton.  Tameri is a writer by day, a wife and mother by night, and a dreamer always.  She’s also my friend, which make me about 70 shades of happy, because friends like Tameri don’t come along every day.  You should definitely run over and check out her blog – you’ll find everything from the fabulously funny to whimsically thoughtful and everything in between!

I’m so excited to have her helping out here at Blogging Barefoot while I recover from new baby/surgery/pancreatitis.  I know you’re going to love her every bit as much as I do!

oOo

Hey Myndi’s readers! I am so excited to be hanging out today at Myndi’s blog. Mostly because I love Myndi to pieces and also because I get to share with you some super fabulous cleaning tips.

You know how Myndi is the Happy Hausfrau extraordinaire? Yeah, I love those posts, too. Especially when she has great tips on how to clean with safe, non toxic cleaners like vinegar.

Well, I’m here today to tell vinegar to step aside and make room for another powerhouse cleaner ~ Baking Soda!

Baking Soda is more than just another ingredient in chocolate chip cookies. It can be used to clean almost anything in your home, including your body, and it works as an amazing odor eliminator.

Here are a few of my favorite uses for Baking Soda:

1.  To get rid of onion or garlic smells on your hands, put a little baking soda in your palm and add just enough water to make a paste. Rub all over your hands and rinse well. The smells will be gone and your hands get a nice exfoliation!

2.  Got a mess in your microwave? Add a few spoonfuls of baking soda to a cup of water and boil for 3 – 5 minutes in the microwave. When the timer goes off, your microwave will be damp and easy to wipe down with just a sponge. Easy peasy!

3.  Did you think shampoo was just for your hair? Wrong. Sprinkle baking soda on tiled showers and then scrub with a sponge and some inexpensive shampoo. Give it a good rinse and your shower will sparkle. And smell great, too.

4.  I read this in the comments of one of Myndi’s posts and gave it a try. It’s now my new favorite way to clean toilets! Add a few drops of spearmint essential oil to 1/4 cup of baking soda. Sprinkle in the toilet and give the side a good scrub. Your toilet will be clean, smell fresh, and there’s no harmful chemicals going down the drain and ending up in our lakes, rivers, or oceans. Winner!

5.  Want a mini-facial? Mix one teaspoon each of baking soda and olive oil. Massage gently into your skin and rinse well. You’ll feel refreshed and moisturized. Ahhhh.

6.  Feel a blemish coming on? Apply a thick paste of baking soda and peroxide to blemish before bedtime and come morning you should be blemish free. Don’t do this if your blemish has already broken the surface. That would really hurt.

7.  Need to polish your tiara? I know, this happens a lot to me, too! No worries. Just put a piece of aluminum foil in your sink and place your tiara on top. Sprinkle with baking soda and cover with warm water. Let sit for awhile, say 10 – 15 minutes while you have a cup of tea. Rinse with warm water and ta-da! Shiny new tiara. This also works well with silver.

8.  This last tip I discovered quite by accident, no pun intended. My sweet Australian Shepherd had an accident on one of our rugs (he has a very delicate tummy and someone, not me, gave him a piece of pizza). I used our spot bot pet cleaner upper thing to get the mess, but there was still an odor. Eww. Fear not, my friends. I sprinkled some baking soda on the carpet, let it soak in for a few hours (actually overnight) and in the morning I vacuumed it up. No more smell! Now, if I could just get people to stop feeding him treats…

There are a million other uses for baking soda, but this post is getting so long I think Myndi might be on her fifth child by now!

Take that box of baking soda out of the pantry and put it to good use. It’s safe enough to use around babies, which is a good thing for Myndi!

Do you have any awesome ideas how to make baking soda work for us? Share them with us! We love to learn new things.

Happy Hausfrau: Soap Scum KILLA

A while back, I posted about the power of grapefruit and salt as a fabulous bathroom cleaner.  It works like a charm, but it does require some elbow grease…something I’m woefully short on these days (8 months, 2 weeks preggo as of writing this post).  So I was in the market for something that worked a little easier, but was still relatively eco-friendly, and easy on the budget.

Enter the blog LIFE, CRAFTS, & WHATEVER.  This blogger (Jen) did a post on the miracle of hot white vinegar and Dawn, and I thought I’d give it a shot.  Even though my soap-scum build-up wasn’t too bad, I was eager to try it, because (a) the only kind of good soap scum is NO soap scum, and (b) it looked pretty easy.

Here’s what I gathered to make the cleaner:

9 oz Dawn, White Vinegar, Mixing bowl w/ spout, measuring cup, empty spray bottle. Ignore the tequila in the back. That's what's left of last years Margarita Christmas Party.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s what one of our shower doors looked like before the vinegar/Dawn treatment.

The soap-scum is kinda hard to see - getting a good shot of it was tough!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After following Jen’s instructions for making the solution, I set to work spraying.  Easy-peasy.  But I don’t have any pics, because I didn’t trust myself with the camera/phone and spray bottle all at once.  I’m super-clumsy these days.  Trying to manage the kicking watermelon that is my belly is enough of a challenge as it is – I need at least one hand to steady myself.  :)

Once I was done spraying, I put my feet up for about an hour.  Checked email.  Promoted some friends’ blogs on Twitter.  Played Tinkerbell dolls with my daughter.  Freaked out over the excerpt from her WIP that my friend Angela posted on her blog.

Then I went set to work, wiping the doors and tile and tubs down.  Here’s what the after looks like:

Again, getting a decent shot was tough...but the glass was much, much cleaner!!

Overall, I thought the Dawn/Vinegar solution did a FABULOUS job on the glass soap scum.  I think it would have done an equally good job on the actual tubs had I sprayed it on and left it overnight…but since we had company coming over, I didn’t want to bother with it.

Two things I didn’t dig about it:

*The smell.  It wasn’t necessarily unpleasant, but it certainly wasn’t grapefruit-lovely.

*I used the solution on my tile, as well, and the Dawn stained the white grout.  I’m really hoping that since Dawn is relatively gentle that this will go away after one or two showers…otherwise I’ll be at it with a toothbrush.  At which point I’ll be muttering to myself, “Shoulda just used the grapefruit…”

Overall, if you have a soap-scum problem on your shower glass, I’d definitely recommend trying it.  The worse the problem, the longer you should plan to leave the solution on.

Happy cleaning!

Happy Hausfrau: Dirty Little Secret

The Happy Hausfrau had a dirty little secret.

Nobody would have guessed.  Nobody would have thought.  She had worked with the kind of diligence only fear could breed to keep her secret just that.  Secret.

Even so, she lived in constant fear that someday somebody would discover her dirty little secret and expose what she’d kept hidden in plain sight.   That somebody might reveal the skeleton living in her microwave.

Her hands shook as she lit a cigarette from the emergency pack she kept in the freezer.  Her I’ll-Take-Mine-Rare red nails matched the door that hid the evidence – whispers of scandalous midnight rendezvous with leftovers better left untouched, dark tales of defrosted meat gone wrong, rumors of popcorn badly burnt…

Tap.  Tap-tap.  Tappity-tap.  The gentle sound of her computer keys as she Googled and Pinterested were reassuring, like the words of an understanding confidant.  With any luck she’d find what she needed to get the deed done before the kids got home from school.  The thought of it – of living out from under the thumb of that silent, threatening burden – sparked a tiny, smoke-filled, half-hysterical giggle.

Suddenly her hands froze.  She pulled the cigarette from her lips and leaned closer to the screen.  What was this?  She read slowly, carefully, flicking the ashes from her smoke into her empty bourbon glass.

Oh, yes.  This would do.  This would do nicely.  Now no-one would ever have to know what happened behind that blood-red door.

Ever.

This is the 'after'. The 'before' is too damn scary to show. Click this picture to check out Crafty Little Gnome's blog on how to clean your microwave - you won't be sorry! (Hint: It involves vinegar & water and is SUPER SIMPLE!)

P.S.  There’s still time to send me your pic for the I AM BEAUTIFUL…Just the Way I Am follow-up post.  Send your photos to myndishafer at rocketmail dot com by Feb. 24, and I’ll make sure to include them in the follow-up post that will run on the 29th!  Make your declaration of REAL BEAUTY to the world!  *hugs*, Myn

HAPPY HAUSFRAU: Detergent Solutions

Happy Hausfrau that I am, I’m always looking for ways to cut corners with my budget.  One of my pet peeves is spending loads of cash on things that are literally gonna go down the drain – namely soap, detergents, and household cleaners.  One of my go-to solutions for this is using grapefruit and salt to replace my ordinary countertop and bathtub cleaners.  Today we’re gonna take a look at ways to revamp our use of laundry and dishwasher detergents.

Before we get started, though, let’s look at some simple math.  Numbers sometimes have a magical way of motivating us.

According to Soap.com, a bottle of Tide 2X Concentrated Liquid (64 loads) costs just shy of $17.  For our family of five, we average five loads of laundry every two days.  That comes out to about 913 loads of laundry a year.  That means I’m buying 15 (rounded up) bottles of Tide a year at a cost of $243.

Also according to Soap.com, a box of Cascade ActionPacs (60 count) costs about $16.  For our family of five, we average about 9 loads of dishes every week.  That comes out to 468 loads a year.  That means I’m buying about 8 boxes of detergent a year at a cost of $125.

Every year I’m spending around $370 on soap.  A product that is literally going to wash down the drain.  Blarg.  But here’s the thing – it’s so much easier to do better!

I’m talking about making your own.  The time investment is minimal.  The cash investment is minimal.  And the results are great!

I got the recipes for both these detergents from this website.  Here is the direct link to the dishwasher detergent recipe.  Here is the direct link to the laundry detergent recipe.  The writer of this blog does such a great job of laying out how to make the soap, I’m not going to bother with a repeat.  I’m just going to tell you about my experience, and tantalize you with numbers.  If you decide it’s something you want to try, follow those links!

Dishwasher detergent and Lemi-Shine peacefully co-habitating under the sink.

Dishwasher Detergent

This one takes me less than five mintes to make, and costs around $13.  The LemiShine (a rinsing agent that’s added separately) costs around $4.

We use 1 Tablespoon of detergent per load (plus 1 Tablespoon of LemiShine).  One batch of dishwasher detergent will last our family about six months (approximately; it should last longer); one container of LemiShine lasts about three.

That brings my total yearly cost down to $34.  A difference (from the Cascade) of $91.  In Happy Hausfrau terms, that’s three pedicures.  In Hubster terms, that’s four vinyl albums.  In 7 and 9 year old terms, that’s a boat-load of Legos, and in 3 year old SweetZ terms…well, that’s a lot of TinkerBell Lip Gloss.

Ingredients for laundry detergent.

Laundry Detergent

This one takes me about twenty minutes to make (mostly because I’m grating the Fels-Naptha by hand), and costs about $17.

We use 1 Tablespoon of detergent per load (it’s super concentrated!).  One batch will generally last us about six months (again, this approximate – it should last longer, barring any epic bouts of the flu that have us washing bedding fifteen times a week).

That brings my total yearly cost down to $34 – a difference (from Tide) of $209.  Seven pedicures.  Or ten albums.  Or an obscene amount of Legos.  Or enough lip gloss to fill a bathtub.

So, whaddya think?  Gonna give making your own detergents a try?  Or are you shaking your head at my tight-wadded-über-nerdiness?  Well, let me give you a little more to laugh at.

When I first decided to do this, I knew I was going to need to keep a measuring spoon in each container.  While I can eye-ball what a Tablespoon looks like pretty well, my boys (who are thrilled that their chores involve helping with laundry and the dishes.  Ahem.  *sarcasm*) would almost always be guaranteed to go overboard.  But the idea of buying two sets of measuring spoons just to use one Tablespoon of each made me itchy.  Itchy in a surely-I’ve-already-got-something-that-will-work sort of way.

And I did.

Let me introduce you to the juice container lid.  Apple juice, pear juice, orange juice, prune juice, whatever.  It is almost a perfect Tablespoon.  Who knew?

The Happy Hausfrau did.

Go ahead.  Giggle at my expense.  I’m too busy picking out a color for my next manicure to hear you.  I think I-Clawed-My-Way-Into-His-Heart-And-He-Has-The-Scars-To-Prove-It-Red will contrast nicely with my alabaster skin.

Dear friendlies, whether you buy your detergents, make your own, or wander around the planet wearing stinky clothes and eating off paper plates, this Hausfrau wishes you the happiest of days!

Happy Hausfrau: Sweetened Condensed Milk

Click to check out Anne Taintor's fab artwork!

It was a holiday emergency.

The Happy Hausfrau, preparing to make her hubby’s favorite Christmastime treat, realized she had forgotten one item at the store.  The store that, though open, was teeming with last minute shoppers jacked up on caffeine and misplaced holiday spirit.  She did not want to brave that storm.

“Sweetened condensed milk…sweetened condensed milk,” she muttered to herself while staring vainly in her pantry, wishing very much that she was Mrs. Weasley, who was sure to have a spell that could create sweetened condensed milk out of thin air.  She stomped her foot a little, thinking that being a Muggle definitely had some serious disadvantages.

The clock was ticking.  A mob of family members with zombie-like hunger for sweets and booze would soon be ringing the doorbell and storming the kitchen, leaving nothing in their wake but crumbs, dirty dishes, empty bottles, and creepy Uncle Joe passed out under the kitchen table.  The Happy Hausfrau knew she needed to find a substitute.  Fast.

After taking a brief, but oh-so-necessary moment to adjust her holiday apron and re-apply her devastatingly red lipstick, the Happy Hausfrau perched in front of her computer, fingers flying over the keyboard.  A small, sly smile crossed her face as she read.  She may not be Mrs. Weasley, but she had one thing Mrs. Weasley didn’t:

Google.

Okay, maybe two things:

Google and scotch.

She typed and clicked, sipped and searched until she found exactly what she needed:

How to Astonish Friends and Make Your Enemies Envious with this Simply Easy Sweetened Condensed Milk Recipe.

Rejoice!  Christmas Eve, and the Happy Hausfrau’s husband’s favorite treat (the unfortunately named ‘Fudge Puddles’) were saved!

The Unfortunately-Named 'Fudge Puddles'

Recipe: Homemade Sweetened Condensed Milk

2 Eggs

1 C. Brown Sugar

1 tsp. Vanilla

2 Tbsp. Flour

1/2 tsp. Baking Powder

1/4 tsp. Salt

Mix all ingredients well; use as a substitute for sweetened condensed milk in recipes for pies, bars, and desserts.

Click here for the fabulous Fudge Puddles recipe.