Many of you lovely readers already know we’re gearing up for the arrival of baby number FOUR here in the Shafer house. Only a couple more months now until sweet baby Girl makes her appearance, and it’s got me thinking about the absolutely inevitable:
Childbirth.
I’ve done it three times before, and lived to tell the tales. You’d think I’d be cool as a cucumber, totally zen. But, ohhhh, baby. I’m not.
‘Cause here’s the thing. Every single one of my childbirth experiences was as different as the children that emerged from my womb.
Offspring number one? I was determined to not feel a thing. Not an ounce of pain would I endure. I mean, come on. This was 21st century, people. Surely medicine had advanced to the point that women no longer needed to feel pain when delivering new humans to the world? Surely Genesis 3:16 (you’ll give birth to your babies in pain) was an antiquated, outdated notion.
Wrong. Either I had the world’s worst anesthesiologist, or epidurals weren’t meant to work on me. Because no matter how many times they re-adjusted the epidural (three times), or administered more meds (a lot), all they managed to accomplish was deadening my legs. Not my abdomen.
There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. And expletives. Lots and lots of expletives.
Once the whole ordeal was over (nearly 23 hours from the time my water broke), I remember holding my little baby boy in my arms, trembling, shocked at the fact that (a) something so tiny could hurt so much, (b) that I made it through alive, and (c) that in a couple days’ time, I’d be sent home with this needy little human, where it would be my sole responsibility to keep him alive.
Terrifying.
Thankfully, that boy is now ten, very much alive, and has never caused me even a fraction of that kind of pain again, emotional or otherwise.
The second time around, I was a little older, and a little wiser. No way in heck was I going to ask for an epi, and no way in heck was I going into the delivery room unprepared. Boy number one weighed nearly ten pounds when he was born, making the delivery much harder than it ought to have been, so we monitored my nutrition and Bouncing Boy #2’s weight carefully. A week before my due date, I was induced. Everything progressed normally. The pain, when faced head-on with the right tools to deal with it on my own, while not easy, was totally manageable. I remember holding my second son in my arms, trembling in shock that (a) I’d done it pretty much on my own, (b) I wasn’t keeling over in residual pain, and (c) I wasn’t terrified to take him home. Sure, it hurt, but (and yeah, I get it, this sounds weird) it was a good hurt. A productive hurt. A hurt worth its weight in gold.
Liberating.
Then, nearly four years ago, I was preparing to do the same with my third child. A little girl. SweetZ had decided she wanted to be breech, but I was having none of that. Determined to avoid a c-section at all costs, I opted to try external version…which is just a fancy way of saying let a doctor pretend he hates your abdomen for an hour while he tries to get your baby to turn around.
It sucked. So bad. And in the end, SweetZ never fully turned. Instead, she lodged kinda crooked-like, which ended up playing a big part (not the whole part…there were lots of very scary moments toward the end of my pregnancy with her) in the fact that we ended up in an emergency c-section…
Where my epidural failed in surgery.
When it was all over (I still shiver thinking about it) I remember holding my tiny girl (the smallest of all three) in my arms, trembling in shock and (a) wondering when the morphine would begin to kick in, (b) thinking how grateful I was that she was healthy, and (c) wondering when the heck the morphine would begin to kick in.
Oh, so scarring.
So now, I’m sitting here, belly swollen, contemplating the fact that very soon I’ll be delivering another bundle of joy. This sweetie is so active…sometimes she’s breech, sometimes she’s not. She dances and spins, kicks and caresses, and has no idea how much it stresses me out when I can feel her head bobbing around under my ribs…or how much I rejoice when I feel her feet kick those same ribs. I’m not scared of the pain of childbirth – I can deal with it. In fact, I welcome it – especially in light of the pain a person feels when the effects of an epidural wear off and you’re strapped to a table, cut open.
I’m blessed with an OB I love, and a husband who’s more supportive than I could ever ask for. I know we’ll do everything we can to avoid the OR (though there’s no way in heck I’ll mess with version again). But it’s a hard bit of future to wait for, not knowing how it’ll turn out. Not knowing if I need to steel myself for something wholly unpleasant that’s utterly out of my control, or if I’ll end up getting to do it the way I want – with some hard work and pain, but natural.
I want to hear from you – what were your birthing experiences like? Were you scared? At peace? Were you that pregnant woman I love to hate who never felt a thing and was holding your baby in your arms after 15 minutes of pushing? Or can you relate with my topsy-turvy birthing experiences?
And, hey, Dads – I want to hear from you, too! I know my hubster has plenty of opinions about how our deliveries went down!
Myndi Shafer 
I haven’t had a baby yet but I have to say this is my number 1 fear about the whole thing: not feeling in control. I’m afraid I don’t have anything useful to say but I wanted to say good luck with the birth, I’m sure that it will go well, you are due an easy one! Gina
Knowledge is power, for sure! If you’re ever expecting, reach out, take classes, read books! Makes a huge difference!
I felt no pain at all with the birth of my lovely daughter. Now her mother . . .
I read every word of Jenny Hansen’s problem pregnancy series, and I loved this, too, Myndi. Hope you get through this one with less pain.
After two C-sections, my daughter decided on natural for her third son. From out in the hall I could hear her screaming at the doctor and telling him just to leave the baby in there.
Jenny’s Risky Business series is great! 🙂 Oh, your poor daughter! Natural is so different from a c-section…I’m really glad I experienced natural first! 🙂
I married my kids when I married my husband, so I’ve never experienced the pain and joy and wonder-where-they’re-hiding-my-morphine of childbirth.
I love this post and I, too, hope you get through this one with less pain.
Thanks, Gloria!!
I don’t have kids yet, but I remember the experience of being there when my friend gave birth for the first time. We were sixteen. And in high school. It was big and scary and she was honest about how much it hurt. It might be different to experience it as an adult. At least, I sure hope it is! Thanks for sharing.
I think it would be so very scary to be so young! Very cool that you could be there for her, Emma!
Oh, Myndi…birth stories – you know I love ’em! Here are the condensed versions of mine: first son was breech, tried external version (with TWO doctors pushing at either end of him) and failed, followed by c-section (they had to double my epidural because I could feel them prepping me for the surgery). He was 9 lbs 4 ozs, and was eleven days early. Second son was a planned home-birth with three midwives in attendance (and a pre-admit to the local hospital, just in case). Labor was about ten hours start to finish, he was about ten days late and we think he weighed about 11 lbs. Third son’s care was with a CNM, but I lived on an island. Labor started in the middle of the night. Met midwife at ferry landing and did a cervical check IN MY MINIVAN (thank Bob for tinted windows). Too advanced so drove to airport. Another check…too advanced for plane or helicopter. Drove to local doctor’s office and had him there – on a rattan loveseat that I nearly bent in half. During part of my labor I wore those silly nose-glasses to try to make everyone laugh. (I am a dork, yes.) Boy #3 was about 9 lbs and was a week overdue.
Whew! One thing I remember about both my labors was that it was just that – hard work to get to an end result. It wasn’t so much painful as it was STRONG, and I kind of liked that my body was doing something it was supposed to do.
I wish you and baby girl a safe and as-easy-as-possible labor and birth. Babies…squee! I have to admit, after two of them I still wanted a third one. After the third, I was SO done! I haven’t had a single minute of baby-lust since my last birth seventeen years ago, but I do so love to hold them for just a second or two and reminisce about my own wee boys. 🙂 Can hardly wait to see piccies! Hugs to you!!
Oh my gosh – a cervical check in your mini-van! I’m dying here! Literally, dying!!
A dear friend of mine’s mother says pregnancy is earthy. Boy, is she right. And we have no pride left by the end of it!! 🙂
Thanks so much for the freaky c-section story, Myndi! Not what I needed to read as that’s my plan this time around. First daughter was 9 lb 2 oz and required forceps–three hours of pushing and she was going nowhere. I got a lovely 4th degree tear. Second daughter we planned a c-section so I wouldn’t tear like that again, but in the last couple weeks, my OB encouraged me to not have a c-section because she thought this baby was smaller. Had a sono to help me decide–she was supposed to be about 7 lb, 9 oz and I thought, “I can do that!” well…had to use the vac to get her out and she ended up being 9 lb, 2 oz even though we induced six days early. 3rd degree tear. I’m just done. I’m seeing a new OB this time around and he’s big on leaving things in working order. You don’t have to mention the possibility of fecal incontinence more than once to this girl! Guess I will just pray hard my epi doesn’t fail during surgery.
Goodness! I had a 4th degree tear with Liam – not fun at all, in any way, shape, or form. I AM SURE your epi will be just fine!! We were in a very high-stress situation where they were trying to get SweetZ out as quickly as possible, and my epi line got pinched in the process. Since you’re scheduled with yours, I’m positive that everything will be in proper working order when the time comes. Please don’t fret!! I’m so sorry if I freaked you out!!
Oh, Myndi. I have great faith that you and baby #4 will be fine.
For me, emotional fear was the big factor when my two were born. When E was born it was mostly pain-free (after a couple of epidural fixes). But when she was born, she was blue/purple and not breathing. They had to work on her for about 4 minutes to get her to take her first breath, and I was petrified. She seemed so tiny and weak (6 lbs, 13 oz). Of course, now she’s a healthy 4 year old, but I will never forget how scared I was when she was born.
J’s birth was much better; once again, there was almost no pain. However…I was induced at about 7 am and waited around all day hooked up to an I.V….with no dilating. Finally, at about 6 pm they started talking about a c-section since nothing was happening. Naturally, I nervous. Who wanted major surgery?
When the nurse checked me again about an hour later, I was dilated to 10 and ready to push. WHAT??? I was NOT ready to push. I freaked out (very undignified), puked up the jello I had begged to eat (they starved me all day), and asked to go home. Ha.
J was born about half an hour later, screaming her head off. She was 8 lbs and STRONG! That was such a happy moment for me. I still think of her hollering and smile.
Giving birth….always a surprise, and always inelegant. But just think Myn….you will meet your sweet baby soon. It is ALL worth it.
Why had I never heard the puking jello part of the story, Miss Liz?? I love that you were determined to go home instead of push. 🙂
And what two lovely ladies you have!!
Thanks for always being in my corner, sweet girl.
I remember Grants delivery…I was so scared…really of the unknowns. Hyperventilating, needing O2, but after pushing, with no epidural, he was in my arms and I was relieved. He weighed 6# and some oz.
Shelby was a bit bigger, 8# 12oz.. I felt a lot of her delivery too. Don’t remember why it hurt so badly. Epidural must not have worked. I remember loudly saying to the Dr.,”Just Pull Her Out!” But soon I had our bundle of pink in my arms and lived to tell the tale.
If every deliver was like Joshua’s, I would have 15 children. Got the epidural around 5-6 cm, before this I sat and bounced on a ball for a while. Felt some pressure, they told me to punch my button, I did. I was at 10cm-didn’t feel a thing. 2 pushes and a big smile on my face and little 6# some oz. Joshua was in my arms. Little did we know he had other issues going on at the time, but he is now a handsome, young guy that melts my heart with his sweetness and dimples!
You are a wonderful momma!! I have faith that God will be with you every push of the way! Do not live in fear! Do not worry, instead pray about everything! And know you will be in my prayers! Love you! ~J
Thanks, Jen! Isn’t it wild how every delivery is so different? And I’m trying not to worry, but some days are better than others…
Love this post. Thank you for sharing your stories! You are a very strong woman. Wishing you a complication-free delivery 🙂
I’ve only given birth once, and I was completely unprepared and uneducated about my options through delivery. I arrived at the hospital at 6 cm, not even feeling my contractions. I was progressing at 1 cm an hour with no pain, and for some reason I will never understand, my doctor broke my water and gave me pitocin. Then I could feel the contractions, oh boy. I had back labor, and I had no idea how to deal with the pain. An hour after he started the pitocin, my labor completely stopped at 9+ cm for 5 hours or so with my daughter’s head stuck in the birth canal. It was very scary, and it was my mom, my husband, and a wonderful nurse who got me through it without an emergency c-section.
My daughter was healthy, thank goodness, but because her head was stuck for so long, her fontanelles closed early and she will always have a small ridge running from her forehead to the back of her head. She didn’t need surgery or a corrective helmet (thank goodness), but having to take my infant to a plastic surgeon for multiple evaluations was a big wake-up call to how wrong birth can go, and how important it is for new moms to learn everything they can about their options before going into the birthing room. Doctors know how to save our lives if something goes wrong (and many OB’s are indeed wonderful and have our best interests at heart), but it is ultimately up to us to do everything we can to make sure we have the best birthing experience possible.
Sorry to ramble on 🙂 This is a big topic for me.
ABSOLUTELY! I couldn’t agree more. We need to educate ourselves as best as we can pre-delivery, and be willing to take a stand for our our health and our kiddo’s health…which can sometimes be a tough thing to do in the heat of the moment. I strongly believe that a mother’s instincts are a remarkable thing, and that if we can listen to our bodies, it will point us in a good direction. That being said, I’m so grateful for good doctors, too.
Awwww…. babies! There is zilch possibility of one being on the horizon for me, but I am definitely having one of those phases where ALL babies look precious, as do puppies and kittens (though do those ever stop looking precious?), and I am tempted to buy mother-and-daughter (or son) aprons to stick in my hope chest. 😉
From what my mom tells me, her two pregnancies were also as different as night and day. She was on bed rest with both of us, though, since both pregnancies were high risk (something about her fibroids, I believe). I was born 45 minutes after her water broke, and after the birth, she just didn’t know what to do with me because I wouldn’t nurse and just kept crying. But with my sister, even though it was 5 years later, she said that the instinct and knowledge of what to do came back naturally. She was in labor a lot longer with my sister, and after she was born there were a few health scares — her tongue looked purple (false alarm) and she had a heart murmur that she eventually grew out of.
I am thinking many good thoughts for you, and of little baby #4!
As a non-Mom, all I gotta say is you women who choose to embark on this path are heros and braver than any soul I know. Here’s to a smooth and easy delivery with no complications and a quick recovery Myndi!
Aw, Myndi! You had some great adventures with your births, didn’t you? I don’t blame you for being a bit apprehensive at what might come. I only had two and that was plenty. The first was one of those births that you would’ve hated me for – I had about 20 people in the room (what the heck was I thinking!), pushed twice and they made me stop because my daughter was coming too fast and they had to call my OB. Um, duh! Don’t ask me to push until the frikkin doctor is there. Anyway, it was about as painful as your first one, though so don’t hate me too much. In fact, the poor anesthesiologist almost got a shoe up his keester when I told him I could feel pain and he told me that no, I couldn’t. I actually grabbed the front of his jacket and said in a very calm voice, ‘yes, I can’ then I stared him down. He gave me more meds. Whoohooo! Baby girl was born at 8lbs 5oz.
My son, however, was another story altogether. Emergency C-Section. I still have nightmares about the doctors pulling him from my gut. Unfortunately, the drugs kicked in too soon and I went a little nutzo on the nurses.
Fingers crossed this one will be a breeze for you! Babies are so much fun.
Oh, Tameri!! I think we had the population of a small country in the delivery room when our first was born, too – but not because I wanted them there. We were dumb enough to choose to deliver in a teaching hospital, and since Liam was proving to be a tough nugget to get out, tons nursing students and residents hovered in the room to join in the fun (or, as they said, learn). Then the doctors decided that we’d need to do an emergency c-section, so the prep team entered just before I managed one final push to get the little guy out. THEN I tore so badly, that of course it was the PERFECT learning opportunity for something like twelve young doctors to observe stitching up an episiotomy that had not gone well…which took about two hours. Two miserable hours where nobody would believe me that I could feel EVERYTHING down there. I felt like an alien abductee undergoing exploratory experiments.
My doctor, who I really liked as a person, was a last-year resident. When the whole ordeal was over (this was months later) we were chatting, and he confessed that after our delivery, he had decided that he wouldn’t deliver another baby in his practice. Ever. Instead of becoming an OB, he went the Family Practitioner route.
Lordy.
Ho.Ly. Cats. That is truly frightening! I get you on the feeling everything situation. Why don’t they believe us?!?
I really, really, really hope this one is a breeze. You’ve more than earned it!
Hi Myndi! So great to be talking about birth experiences. Women are really strong, aren’t they? I really LOVE that about us. 🙂 My experiences were also so different…as different as my two daughters are. With my first I was 10 days overdue, felt my water break in the middle of the night. The hubster and I were stationed in S. Korea so we proceeded to the Army hospital on base. I had read up on my options and I had a lovely birth plan all prepared. No drugs, no pitocin. I wanted to be able to sit up and walk around…As the old saw says, “God laughs when you make plans.” Nothing really went according to The Plan. Not the pains that never really became rhythmic or productive, not the drugs (they gave me a shot of morphine, which just make me sick and loopy), and not the c-section I had after 20 hours of labor. My daughter had not even descended into the birth canal and as my temp was starting to spike, they were concerned about infection since my water had been broken for so long. I remember the female pediatrician rubbing my lower back as they inserted the epidural for the surgery–how good that felt. And then my daughter’s lovely, angry face after they pulled her out. We always joke now how she was so comfortable in there, they had to go in and get her and she was pissed about it!
With my second daughter, I had scheduled a c-section because my husband was due to leave within days of my due date for a six-month deployment. I went into labor 2 days before the scheduled C. Productive, regular, classic labor, about 15 hours of it. I had an epidural, progressed steadily through the night to 10cm and after about 20 mins of pushing, my second daughter arrived just as the sun came up. Also lovely but more scrunched up because of her battles in the birth canal. 🙂 The recovery from the natural birth was easier, which was so great because the hubster did still have to go on that deployment. I have been grateful that he was there for the births of both our daughters. And it was he who coined our family phrase: “Having children is not about the perfect labor and delivery experience, it’s about the result–a healthy baby.”
One thing you can be sure of, your labor and delivery will not be like any other you’ve experienced. The pain will be bad but not worse than you can stand. And at the end of it all you will get to hold this new, fabulous person! Wow. A part of me envies you. If I were just a bit younger… 🙂
Never gave birth, probably in part because I feared all-of-the-above and also because dogs and cats are much less angst-producing and…well, that’s enough for this reply. *s* But omg what an experience! I am in awe and love your post! May this birth be the blessing it’s meant to be!
I’ve said it before, but I don’t know any men who are brave enough to go through this.
LOL! The hubster and I were just talking last night about how there would be FAR fewer children in the world if men had to do the childbearing. 🙂
Myndi, you’re amazing. I have zero ability to deal with pain, and that’s not hyperbole. My dentist plans extra time when I go in to accommodate the fact that the freezing doesn’t always work and that I sometimes pass out even when it does. It’s humiliating to be a fainter. I faint at the sight of needles and blood too. So I hold mothers (especially ones with multiple children) in awe. I’ll be praying that baby #4 comes with less pain than the previous three.
Poor Marcy!! I’ve never been a fainter, but oh, man. The dentist. If there was ever a place that could turn me into one, it’s there. My very first dentist memory was of our dentist yelling (for real, like yelling-yelling) at me to open my mouth (I was stubborn then, too). When I refused, he and his assistant pried my mouth open and stuck one of those things in it that hold it open, after which they yanked a couple baby teeth that didn’t want to loosen.
Bastardo.
Myndi, look at those great childbirth stories you have to tell! We’re all sending you very intense karmic vibes for a quick and easy delivery this time. You and newbabygirl deserve it.
Thanks so much for sharing your stories, Myndi.
My daughter was breech too. When the time came to try for an external version, my amniotic fluid was too low. So, c/s it was…oh how I wish I knew then what I know now. Anyway, It was a schedule c/s and I had no labor. The c/s itself wasn’t difficult (though I had a lot of weird pain/numbness issues in my belly afterward). My daughter was pretty easy. She did have jaundice and needed both a bilirubin blanket (much easier than the big bank of bili lights) and nursing every 2 hours round the clock (so we could avoid any formula).
With my son, I was determined to avoid a routine repeat c/s. The docs did their best to terrify me with the risks (never mind that c/s still carries twice the risk of death than a vaginal birth) of a VBAC. When my son was breech, I freaked out. Luckily, some friends of ours pointed us in the direction of a wonderful chiropractor. The chiro adjusted my hips, stretched my round ligaments and *boom* baby boy turned head down. I was ready and had a fabulous doula. Labor was intense but not painful until I was stuck in transition for 11 or so hours. After that, my physical and emotional reserves were shot and the contractions that I could handle before were now whipping my butt. As a last ditch effort to get some rest and avoid a c/s, I tried an epidural. Mine had much the same effect as yours, Myndi…one numb leg from hip to knee and no pain relief (thought the docs and nurses didn’t believe me). And I couldn’t even move around to cope with the pain. After awhile longer, I had another c/s (with a spinal because the the epi still wasn’t working…though I had to beg and plead for a new anesthesiologist who would believe me and not cut me with a malfunctioning epi). Turns out my son had his cord wrapped around his chest a time or too. LOL
If we are blessed again, I will be absolutely attempting a VBAC again. I will never have another epi, no matter how bad it gets. Anyhow, I suspect I’d have a fast labor. If my son hadn’t been wrapped in his cord, I would likely have had him in less than 3 hours start to finish. My ideal birth would be at home but we’ll see when (and if) the time comes.
If your babe is breech, I’d totally recommend checking out a chiropractor. I know a lot of OBs consider it bunk. Mine told me it was just coincidence that my son turned vertex after my chiro started working on me. *shrug*. Check with doulas and midwives for a recommendation or with other moms on a natural parenting board (Mothering.com has one, if memory serves me correctly). The maneuver they do is called the Webster Maneuver, I think. It’s basically just adjusting the hips and lower back. This lets the baby move head down more comfortably, or some such. Worked for me anyway.
Definitely will look into the chiro thing! Thanks!!
With my first, I couldn’t get my anesthesiologist to believe me, either. Ridiculous.
With the emergency c-section, the epi line got pinched when they transferred me to the OR table, so I started feeling the pain partway into the surgery. They wouldn’t give me anything else because they were worried about SweetZ – she had a heart arrhythmia, and her heart rate had dropped low enough to alarm. I’m so glad to be on the other side of that delivery!
When I gave birth to my oldest daughter, I was a senior in high school. When I had my first contraction, it wasn’t painful just uncomfortable so I swore it was false labor. I was nine days late, not so much false. lol! Eventually the uncomfortable feeling gave way to “OMG this hurts like hell make it stop” kind of pain. I was at 6cm when I was admitted in the hospital. My doctor broke my water and I only dilated to 9.5 cm. The nurse had to reach up and grab my daughter’s head to start her in the canal. I think I learned a whole new set of expletives during that process.
Then they did a saddle block and I didn’t feel much of anything during the actual delivery. I had her at 7:20am and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I was completely exhausted after being up for over 24hrs and slightly delirious. When I finally started getting feeling back in my legs, I could only move one of them. I totally freaked out, until the nurse explained that the saddle block consists of two shots – one for each side – given a few minutes apart. The other leg came back to me a few moments later. I leaned back and drifted to sleep happy that I had a gorgeous baby girl and both my legs still worked.
My youngest daughter’s birth was more eventful. At my last check-up I was told I had started dilating. Tthey told me to go walk around and come back. I did, and nothing had changed. They sent me home. My husband took me to the mall the next morning and we walked around for several hours. Then all of a sudden I doubled-over. Again, it didn’t hurt so much as it was just uncomfortable, but this time I knew better. Finally, at 2 am, I felt two punches and swoosh – my water broke. My husband and I raced to the hospital. This time hurt much worse than the last, I begged for drugs. Yes, I’m a wuss.
They began prepping me for an epi. I don’t remember much after that because I passed out. Apparently my blood pressure dropped really low – no one knew why. So I woke up with an over-sized oxygen mask on my face, lying sort of on my side, an IV in my arm, an epi in my back, a blood pressure band on my arm, and monitors on my belly. The oxygen kept coming unplugged from the wall unit and they had to replace the IV three times.he bed underneath my blood pressure band. Oh joy. I learned even more expletives. My darling daughter was born at 7:47 am and I cried as I held her for the first time. It was worth it every moment.
So with my first one, I felt all of the contractions but none of the delivery. And with my second, I felt none of the contractions and all of the delivery. That was enough for me. 🙂
My oldest daughter had a very short childbirth experience. She had a few hours of contractions and then after two pushes, my granddaughter entered the world. Needless to say, she was one of those that we love to hate. 😉
Ok I think my heart stopped for a moment when you said that the epi didn’t work for surgery. I’ve gone thru childbirth three times and had a few surgeries and that is a fear of mine. My first pregnancy I had 2 epidurals that didn’t work. Ack! Myndi, you are now officially a ninja warrior in my eyes.
My best childbirth experience was my 2nd–my son. My OB scheduled an induction, I had the epidural at the right time (I think that’s key) and then there he was all 9.5 lbs of him. 🙂
Loved this post Myndi! I love reading birth stories and talking about everything fertility, pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding.
I’m very longwinded when it comes to these subjects especially. In that light, I’m going to bullet point my experiences so, you don’t take all your reading time today on just this novel(eeerrrr……comment)
*2 miscarriages
*successful PG with baby girl
*moved mid-PG…went through 2 OB’s before I found one that allowed photography throughout L&D
*L&D in hospital was fine, no major complaints but, was sad I had epidural and was stuck to the bed ALL DAMN DAY AND NIGHT!
*PP was TERRIBLE!!
*Kept taking my baby
*Stuck me in a closet they called a PP room.
*Successful PG with baby boy
*Determined to stay out of hospital and their policy red tape BS
*Happy at Birth Center
*Long labor managed well with bradley method
*Spent almost all day in water tub
*Naturally delivered my big boy with joy and awesomeness
***YOU’VE GOT THIS GIRL!!! YOU’RE GOING TO ROCK THAT SHIT!!!***
Well, Myndi, I’m sure everything will be just fine. Interesting stories though and comments.
The good lord decided that I should not be a mother so I’m not able to have any children, for which I am sometimes grateful (especially when I read about child birth) and sometimes saddened. But my abdominal hysterectomy was pretty painful. I remember thinking the same thing about the morphine – when the heck is that going to kick in! At least you had a baby to help deaden the pain!
Good luck on the new little one!
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
Wow. It’s been very interesting reading all the labor stories. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage at 12 weeks. My second pregnancy I was sick the entire time, but never had a problem eating. I had pre-term labor from week 26 and on. Suffered from pre-eclampsia and ended up having a swollen 55 lb weight gain. But after all that, I think God was kind to me. My daughter was born 3 1/2 weeks early. I had a epidural and a WONDERFUL birthing experience. I pushed four times and she was born. My husband and I both looked at each other and said, “That really wasn’t that bad.” (We should have known to keep our mouths shut.) Second pregnancy was easier, not as sick, but got toxemia and gained 77 lbs. Beautiful son was born 3 weeks early (because the induced me) Begged for an epidural for 6 hours. Nurse told me no. I told her that once I hit a four, I’d be ready to have the baby and there would be no time and that I wanted it now. She said no, no no. She checked me, I was a 3. Five minutes later I was a ten. Of course by then they couldn’t do an epidural. It was horrible and painful and sucked bigtime. Fortunately he came out like he does everything in life. Fast. Two pushes and he had arrived. Then hubby had to sit and hold the baby while they took put me under and sent me into surgery.
Fourth pregnancy ended at 16 1/2 weeks. Had a botched D&C which ruptured my uterus and bladder and meant no more kids for us.
Having done it both ways, I would defintely go the epidural/drugs route. The nurse tried telling me it would slow down my birthing process. I was like, so what if I have 2 more hours of PAIN-Free labor.
Good luck with your pregnancy, Myndi!!! Hope it all goes easily this time!!
Ooh, what a question.
I have three. First daughter was three weeks late and came out with two (yes two) pushes after a six hour labour. A breeze. She was 6lbs 2oz. All I needed was gas and air.
Twenty-two months later, daughter no 2 arrived one day late after a two hour labour and a few more pushes she was 6lbs 3oz. With just gas and air I was on a roll.
Then …. dandarandan …
A few years later after a TWO DAY LABOUR and pushing for Britain for **** hours – you should have heard the language, my DH still talks about it! I begged, I screamed I cursed for anything they could give me including knocking me unconcious, I delivered our son who was three weeks late and TEN pounds. He looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
All I can say is that if he’d been my first he’d have been my last because the bedroom door would have been barricaded. In fact, I would’ve worn one of those plutonium chastity belts with a coded lock.
OMG!! Now THIS is why I’ve always had dogs!!
Yikes! I don’t have any babies, not yet anyway, so I can’t share in your stories…but I can congratulate you on your future arrival! 🙂
Hi Myndi,
I was one of those lucky women that only had to push for 15 minutes. My doctor told me she wished all her patients had my cervix 🙂 I, too, had proplems with the epidurals with both my children. With my son, it wore off right as it was time to push. With my daughter, it only took on one side. One side felt nothing, the other side felt ripped in two!
So jealous…but so glad it was easy(ish) for you!!
Wow, I would consider myself lucky. You poor thing. You must be tough as nails! Keeping my fingers crossed for you sweetie. Well let’s see. I only have the two. The first one came a week early. I woke up at 6 a.m. and my water had broken, but I didn’t know because his head was plugging the space. So I knew something wasn’t right. Right after lunch I went to see the doctor. He sent me straight to the hospital. It was a crazy day because someone had cut the major phone circuits in our area so none of the phone lines were working. Luckily the baby beeper the hospital had provided did. My husband was making a presentation to a two man team that had flown in from Japan that day just to meet with him. Oh well. I was in labor for 23 hours. It wasn’t too bad, just really long. In the end my son shot out so fast the doctor wasn’t ready and the nurse caught him. Nice. They thought his heart sounded off so they sent him to neo-natal. Biggest baby in there. Meant he had to stay a few days longer than me. The hospital let us hole up in an empty room in the children’s ward.
Kid #2 was scheduled by the doctor because he said #2 came to fast. I didn’t think 23 hours was necessarily fast. But I guess he was talking about the very end. Once they got the mix right it happened quickly, but her shoulder got stuck and she started turning funny colors while they worked to dislodge her. I could see the fear on my husband’s face. Thank God it all turned out alright and I ended up with an absolutely crazy girl! But they totally messed up and gave me a second epidural when they shouldn’t have too close to the end. The lower half of my body was totally dead for hours after the birth. I couldn’t help them move me at all. It was really pathetic.
I think I’ve come to the conclusion after reading all these stories, that delivery is simply traumatic. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Myndi – that totally sucks! My whole body hurt just reading your story. My first baby took 28 hours of labor, 2 tanks of laughing gas, sterile water shots, she was born face down with me on my hands and knees after all that labor. 2nd baby was only 14 hours of labor, had to walk to the hospital because we didn’t have a car – in a snowstorm. 2nd midwife was called to another birth, nurses were busy so hubs had to step in and bit a lot more hands-on than he’d planned on. Snow was so deep, the cab wouldn’t take us all the way, dropped us off at teh corner and made us walk with the baby seat. My girls were 7.11 and 8.7 lbs respectively.
My son was the easiest pregnancy – I was super sick with both my girls but with my son I couldn’t stop eating. We expected him to come in at about 9lbs. Home birth. He was pushing my pelvis apart so I had to wear a belt to hold my pelvis together.
He was 11lbs, born after 5 hrs of labor – paramedics camped out in my kitchen. And so help me, if one more person jokes that he ‘walked out’ I’m might just hit them.
((hugs)) It’ll all work out and you’ll have your bundle of joy to make it all worth it.
OH MY GOSH! You walked to the hospital? That OFFICIALLY makes you a rockstar in my book. For real.
Actually, all three of your birthing stories sound…intense! Mad respect for you, woman.
Wow, ask people their birth stories and look at the comments you get ! Talk about high concept! 🙂
With my daughter (first), I got to the hospital and was ready for an epidural. I had been in so much pain, but my epi was the opposite experience of yours. Pure, blessed relief. I called a friend of mine and said, I kid you not, “Luke, I am your father Luke…” Probably best not to explore that further.
My son, not so much. I got to the hospital and knew I was ready, but they put me in triage and ignored me. By the time they finally took me to the birthing room, he was crowning. No drugs for me. Boy did I bitch that poor nurse out. My husband kept asking me what i needed, and finally said, “What I need is for you to STOP TALKING!” 🙂
I will say that while the pain of that second birth was beyond blinding, it was lovely to be able to walk shortly afterward and to attend his first bath.
You will do just fine. We are all here for you and cheering for you!
Oh, my goodness, Julie! So funny, the Luke thing!
I don’t like to be touched when I’m in pain, and the poor hubster was so lost in the whole process, he kept trying to rub my back. It took an ugly, seething “Stop TOUCHING me!” for him to get the point. 🙂 Now he knows.
I had this whole thinking if my mum can have 3 children and only had an epidural once I could do it. my mum is a big wimp and she’ll admit to that.
With my first son my waters broke about 1am and because he pooped I had to go to hospital and stay there to be monitored, I didn’t have any contractions straight away so they induced me and after nearly 16 hours from my waters breaking including 4 hours of very STRONG contractions on just gas and only being 2cm I had an epidural. Ahhhh bliss I could even sleep, which I needed as only had about 2 hours sleep before my waters went. 27 hours after my waters breaking and only 8cms, the doctors decided I need a c section. When I got on to the theatre table my epidural didn’t seem to be working down my left side and my anesthetist tried to sort it but the doctors started cutting and I could feel everything down my left. it was horrible and I was crying out but they just need to get my son out. They let me see my son then I had a general and was out cold while they stitched me up. I was not right for hours after.
That didn’t put me off as 7 months later I was pregnant but decided for the birth I was going to have a VBAC. But with this pregnancy I had SPD ( Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction) which was painful at times but just uncomfortable. My waters broke at 10.30am but it was nearly 18 hours til my first strong contraction (the doctors and midwives were happy for me to stay at home until I was in active labour) I had 20 hours of contractions every 8 minutes then when they were 4 minutes apart I went in and to find out I was only 2CMS but once at the hospital I dilated quick in 2 hours I went from 2 to 8 cms and I had another epidural which didn’t work. I pushed for nearly an hour but wasn’t getting anywhere so went to theatre for a spinal block and suction cap and maybe another c section. Spinal block was bliss (LOVED IT). while I was waiting I was still pushing and once the cap was on I only pushed twice and he was out. I had a 3rd degree tear. Compared to the c section the recovery was better. I was back to myself after a few days and I could cuddle both my sons without pain.
After those 2 experiences it hasn’t put me off, can not wait til my next one.
Good luck with your next birth, each labour and pregnancy is different even in the same woman x
My story with the twins was so nuts, I’m having to put in a book. Fo real. Seriously thouhg, I hope you have the smoothest of times with this one. I was justhaving a mini panic attack thinking about this newest one and how it’s getting out. I had a c-section with the twins, and now my doctor wants to automatically default to a c-section, again..probably for liability purposes. But, I’m not sure if I want to try it the natural way, or follow her direction. My mom’s feathers got ruffled when she heard the doc had already decided without asking me. I guess I’ll spend the next few months hemming and hawing over what’s best… oh boy…or girl
Either way, just remember it’s your decision – not your doctor’s. If you want to do a vbac, you should at least be given the opportunity to try! One of my good friends had a c-section first, and a vbac for her second, and it all went beautifully…BUT, in the end, she wished she had done the c-section. The recovery from the vbac was harder for her. I don’t think that’s usually the case though. Sending you happy thoughts as you wade through all that decision making! *hugs*
Oh my goodness, Myndi, you are far braver than I ever was. I wanted four boys but after the first one was delivered, almost didn’t have another BECAUSE of the pain. We settled for two children, both boys, and even though they’re grown into young men now, I will never forget the pain of their birth. It makes me shudder and cringe.
May the birth of this child be miracuously painfree. You deserve it. 🙂
I feel so blessed that I was able to have both of my babies at home. Both times I panicked until a few weeks before I was went into labor because I felt so crappy and was just ready to get this baby the hell out of me. Good luck I’ll be sending you happy, peaceful, healing vibes.
I can only imagine what it must be like for that precious little monster inside that Wants…Out.. Now! No wonder we speak of near death experiences… with the light at the end of the tunnel and all. Most everyone has been there once.
My (condensed) version of the story:
Three epidurals. Two hard labors. One almost delivered in the car… when my poor, berated husband had to stop for gas on the way to the hospital. Absolutely effing brilliant! He was forgiven… eventually.
One almost dropped on the hospital floor from a little “miscommunication”.
The only thing I would have changed, and did after little number one was born, was to never.. ever.. settle for the episiotomy. There are simply OTHER solutions to that problem, Mr. Man doctor who’s never had a baby himself.
They say, we mothers somehow forget about the pain of childbirth. Not true. They also say, we must be gluttons for punishment. Also not true.
I wonder who “They” are, and if they HAD a mother.
Myndi, you are a brave soul. You’re the master! Worry is your enemy, not your friend. Meditation may help, if your anxiety is kicking in. Perhaps look at baby pictures taken well after the birthing experience. Focus on how darn cute they were… and are, rather than the scary parts.
And always remember… YOU are QUEEN For A Day, and hopefully you can milk it (pun intended) for a good, solid month after!
You’ll do great!
Much Love!
Whew, I finally made it down here to make a comment. Wow, there are a lot of comments. You are quite the popular girl!
My goodness Myndi dear, what a story. No, I can’t say that my experiences were that dramatic. My first son was posterior. Very painful. Water broke first, followed by extreme labor and pain. I had him at a birthing room at the doctors office and went home two hours later. Exhausted.
Boy number two was born sixteen months later. I had a totally different experience with him. This time my labor started first, then the childbirth ten hours later at a birthing room at the hospital. He came so fast that he looked like a cesarean baby. Because he was born after ten at night, the made us stay the night, which I hated. I just wanted to go home.
So both my sons grew up as close as Irish twins. Happily I must say.
I wish you all the best Myndi. You are right. With each child comes a new experience. Just enjoy it while you can. They sure grow up too fast. And I hate that. I’d shrink them up in a heartbeat. 🙂
I love how you put it – as close as Irish twins. My two boys are the same way. They’ve been utterly inseparable since VVMike was born. I love, love, love their bond.