Ginger Calem and the Epic ASSessory: The CRACK PATCH

Today marks the last day of post-natal guest-posting here at Blogging Barefoot.  Who better to close out these fabulous posts than Ginger Calem, blogger supreme, and my very good friend.

Hike up those britches, and let Ginger enlighten you!


Occasionally I run across a product that truly baffles me, not to mention an image I’d like to erase from my memory back.  This happened recently when I stumbled upon this doozy of a product, The bedazzled crack-patch.

Yeah, that’s what I thought too.  I mean, wouldn’t you just wear pants that didn’t show off your crack?  Or how about seeing thong underwear proudly on display over the waistband of jeans.  A. Your shirt is too short. B. It’s just wrong, WRONG!

Or how about the male equivalent or this look …

Sadly, I can tell you the trend in underwear for teenage boys in our town.  One trip to the middle school or high school and it’s all bagging out the top of their skinny jeans for all to see.

Now before you think I’m an out-of-touch prude, I’m totally down with low-rider jeans.  I have a closet full of them and have dutifully gotten rid of all my 80′s jeans.  But, I’m still not showing off my panties or my hiney and I sure as heck am not going to bedazzle my crack.

What do you think?


33 thoughts on “Ginger Calem and the Epic ASSessory: The CRACK PATCH

  1. Natalie Hartford says:

    Ok…I am all about bedazzling, as you all know, but that bedazzled crack-patch is wrong on soooo many levels!! Seriously! I am with you Ginger – all for style and hip and trendy but I am NOT hanging my crack or my thong out for the world to see…no way!
    And WHAT is with the trend of wearing your jeans around your knees?!?!?! What is that supposed to say/do/be?!?! I am confused…so confused…

  2. Tami Clayton says:

    OMG – I nearly spit out my precious coffee this morning laughing over the bedazzled crack patch! That is the most hilariously disturbing thing I’ve seen in a long time and I work with children so that’s saying something. Thanks for the laugh!

  3. K.B. Owen says:

    Oh my word, how hideous (and not in a Susie Lindau way, LOL) is that? All it says to me is: “Here’s my butt crack, but I decided to be discreet today.” Yuck! And hilarious. And the pic of the guy – I’ve unfortunately seen this out on the street, and it’s SO hard not to laugh. My kids don’t hold back, though. Fortunately, the traffic light changed to green just in time. 😀

    Funny post, Ginger!

    • gingercalem says:

      Hi Everyone!! Sorry I’m a bit tardy for the party. This product just truly baffles my mind and burns my eyeballs!

      And those pants on guys, let’s just say I have 2 teenage boys and I’m not sure if those boxer shorts are always fresh from the laundry, if you get my drift. So, yeah, let’s just show them off. Blech!

  4. jennifer mcandrews says:

    What? no buy link? how disappointing.
    j/k I have a large enough a$$ without drawing attention to it with beading.

    But I gotta say, the cops around here LOVE the baggy jeans on guys — makes them so easy to catch when they run!

    • gingercalem says:

      Jennifer, you crack me up! Hey, you bring up a great point about there being at least one (probably only the one) perk of the baggy pants. Who knew there was a silver lining around that moon? 😉

  5. Judythe Morgan says:

    I’m anti-butt crack viewing too. I had no idea you could decorate the crack! Like that’s gonna make it more appealing. LOL

    Bless Laugh-In’s heart for putting the option out there in young suggestive minds with their little old man opening his coat and/or dropping his drawers. They started a plague of “flashing”, “mooning” and butt viewing. Kids today and some not so young walk around all the time with their undies and crack hanging out and pant’s waist at their knees. Come on . It’s just plani dis-cuss-ting!!! Was in my day. Is now.

    • gingercalem says:

      I absolutely cracked up at ‘I’m anti-butt crack viewing’. Do you think anyone would fess up to being ‘pro-butt-crack viewing’?

  6. Elena Aitken says:

    I would personally love to see a guy try to run with his pants around his knees. They must know they look ridiculous, right? RIGHT?!
    I agree…bedazzling your crack is just not okay. 🙂

    • gingercalem says:

      Staple? Brwahahahahah!! Yes, you’re right, sad that some people are probably buying that asinine product.

  7. emmaburcart says:

    It just sounds painful to me. It would either hurt coming off, like a bandaid, or you’d have to leave it on until sweat and showers made it fall off. Either does not seem like a good choice to me. Plus, I like to keep my booty covered. Call me crazy, but I like it to stay inside my pants. 🙂

  8. Tameri Etherton says:

    I’m such a mean mom that I tell my son (and his friends) that if I see them wearing their pants down low, I’m going to sneak up behind them when they’re talking to a girl and pull them to the ground. They know I would, too so they keep them up. At least they do around me!

    As for the crack patch? That’s about as stupid as the fake t-shirt thing you put under a shirt to hide your crack. What’s with these people making dumb cover ups? Why not just make jeans that don’t slip down!

    • Kristy K. James...Living, Loving, Laughing says:

      Actually I can see where the trendy top could be a great accessory…if you want the layered look in the summer. Wearing two tops on a 90 degree day could be uncomfortable. Fortunately the only layered look I like is one of my dad’s flannel shirts over a tee in the winter. 🙂

  9. Kristy K. James...Living, Loving, Laughing says:

    I think the patch is just wrong. I’ve never liked seeing certain parts of strangers bodies (or their boxers)…and I don’t want to see a patch either. Although it’s preferable to what we could be seeing.

    It does remind me of a fun story though. My daughter was four and I’d had to call a plumber to fix the bathroom sink. ALL of the stories about ‘plumber’s cleavage’ is TRUE. This guy squatted down in front of the sink, blinding us with a ‘quarter moon’….and my daughter was shocked.

    “Mom! Mom! LOOK at that! You can see his b…!” At that point I clamped my hand over her mouth, dragged her to the living room and left the exhibitionist to his work.

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