This week our oldest child starts Junior High. His dad and I are WAAAY more nervous about this transition than he is. In fact, while I’m applying Caladryl to my outbreak of nervous hives, he’s downright chill about the whole thing.
Last Monday was our school’s open house – a chance to meet all the teachers, and get Willy’s locker combination, and – since our school rocks – eat ice cream. Unfortunately, Little Miss Took was feeling under the weather, so T and I had to divide our parenting responsibilities – one of us would take the boys to school, while the other stayed home with the girls.
The Hubster chose the girls, and I went with the boys.
Now, here’s the thing. When you have as many kids (and pets) as we do, there’s a pretty good chance that at any given moment something out of the ordinary is about to happen. Like, dogs trying to eat turtles. Or a kid deciding that ink would work really great as lipstick (see image above). Or a toilet overflowing because, apparently, every now and then children are capable of dropping deuces that could compete with rhino droppings in both girth and weight.
Just keeping it real, people.
Since, on this particular evening, we split the kids between us 50/50, the odds of something strange/unfortunate/humorous were also split 50/50. It could have been my night to deal with hijinks, it could have been T’s. Parenting roulette, savvy?
That night the hijinks fell to T.
You haven’t truly walked the path of parenthood until you’ve had to go fishing for your kid’s poo in the soapy drink.
While I’m more than glad it wasn’t me who had to deal with Little Miss Took’s swimming deuce, I’m well aware that it’s only a matter of time until I draw the short straw. I wonder what it will be? Skinned knees? Bee sting? Or something more exotic, like the irreversible horror of swallowing a bug? *shrug* Whatever. After four kids, there’s not much that can take me by surprise. In fact, why don’t you pass me the wine and I’ll make a toast.
To this moment. This moment, right now, when nothing weird or stinky or sticky or scary or extraordinary is happening. This moment, when my all my kids are content, all my pets are alive, and all is well in the realm of Shafer. I love this moment. I will live in this moment.
10 thoughts on “PARENTING ROULETTE: Losing Ain’t Pretty”
Yep. Poo in the tub is pretty bad but worse is the potty training stage when they “miss” and then try to correct by picking up said poo with hands! And the dog gives you this look like, “What? you think I taught her that?” Yikes! Don’t miss that at all. 😀 I raise my glass with you, Myndi, to this moment. Cheers!
LOL! That’s so, so gross! My boys always thought their poo was fascinating and would try to fish it out of the toilet to show me or their dad.
Oh my goodness – and here I thought this post would be all about junior high issues! 🙂 Our oldest starts junior high next year (EEP!). But then you go and throw out the poop in the tub – been there, done that …. probably created my own t-shirt out of the deal. Ewwwwww!
HA! Fooled ya. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of junior high hijinks to share with y’all in a few months…
I swear, the Bathtime Diving for Poo is a right of passage event for every parent. 🙂
This made me smile so big, Myndi! Parenting is full of surprises, both wonderful and ick. I’m past the poo-in-the-tub stage, but now we’re on to driving and dating tips. Yikes!
Dating tips! Yikes. That’s a WHOLE ‘nother stage of parenting that I’m basically in denial over…
…and I won’t be able to keep my head in the sand much longer, not with the teen years coming on fast!
Well it sounds like an eventful night. I’m going to sound like a shrew here, but I’m so glad it was your house and not mine.
w/a Jansen Schmidt
HAHAHAHAHA!! Not a shrew at all. Thankfully the Hubster had everything back to it’s normal ‘status’ around here, so it was just a story related TO me, not something I had to deal with. *phew*
We do go through a lot of disinfectant around here, though. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Hmm. I have to say that poo in the tub is preferable to a mess I had to clean up once…as in the kid seemed to miss the diaper entirely…aiming for the shoulder blades. Since I was babysitting, I realized I couldn’t actually cut the clothes off, but I sure wanted to cry. Yeah, poo in the tub…not fun…but not as bad as it can get. 😀
Better T than me though. 🙂
Oh, yeah. I’ve dealt with diaper malfunctions like that. The exersaucer is FAMOUS for producing up-the-back poo pileups like that. *shiver*