The Secret Code of the Black Handbag

So, can I admit it, without shame?

I love looking at photographs of the royal family. They fascinate me (me and about a gazillion other people on this lonely little planet). And lately, there’s been lots to look at. THE wedding, of course. And then baby George was born (*squeeee*). And now, his christening.

Good lord, that’s some christening gown. 

Anyway.

As I was looking at these photos, I realized that in the photographs of the Queen and her family, another member of the royal family was featured, too: Her purse. He (she?) was sitting quietly at her feet, expertly posed and ready for the camera. CLICK HERE TO SEE. HERE, TOO. ONE MORE HERE.

So I wondered, what the heck is up with the Queen and her purse?

Turns out, Google has a lot to say about it: The content of her purse is broken down for us multiple times. So is how she subtly uses it to tell her staff when she’s bored with talking to somebody or ready to go home. It’s like a secret code, handbag style.

NOTE TO SELF: If I ever get to visit with the Queen (likely) (<<<<SARCASM) if she shifts her handbag, I have bored her to death and have failed in being awesome. *hangs head in pre-determined shame*

Still, that’s something to think about, using your handbag as a secret code. I like that. I like that a lot. Hubster, are you reading this? Take notes:

(1) If I shift my bag from my left shoulder to my right shoulder it means I am dying of thirst and need another beer, pronto.

(2) If I hook my purse on my wrist and place my hand on my hip it means you’ve been texting too long on our date and I’m beginning to feel neglected.

(3) If you see me swinging my purse over my head like a lasso, it means someone just threw me some stink-eye and things are about TO GET REAL UP IN HERE.

I think that just about covers it.

Okay, now back to the Queen. I get that she’s attached to her purse. I mean, what girl isn’t? But why, oh why, must it be sitting on the floor in every picture she’s in? Is she signaling something right then? If the photographer tells me to say CHEESE again, kindly have him beheaded. Or, Someone in this room passed some royal gas. Please open a window immediately. Or is she just so used to having it around, she didn’t realize it was there? Or does she keep a secret, tiny royal family inside of her purse, and wanted them to be represented in the portraits, too? I wonder…

And I wonder what you wonder. I want to hear your theories. Go.

Advertisement