LETTERS FROM MYNNIESUE: To the Person Who Found My Blog Searching for “Posting Humiliating Things on your Wall is my New Reason to Get Up in the Morning”…

I’m proud of you.  Proud that you’ve found a reason to get up in the morning.  We all need a reason open our eyes, cram our feet into our pink bunny slippers, and stumble our way to the coffee pot.

Just in case your new reason for getting out of bed in the morning fizzles out, here are some other ideas that might help you face the glare of a new day with poise, grace, and a sprinkling of vengeance (’cause I have a feeling that’s how you roll).

*Bacon ice cream exists.  It’s a real thing.  Really, I could end the list here, couldn’t I?

*Some people say it’s easier to get out of bed in the morning if you place your alarm clock across the room. Screw that.  I say, paint a target on the wall across the room, and when your alarm clock goes off in the morning, hurl The Evil Harbinger of the New Day at the target.  You won’t be able to help but get out of bed to have a look at how good your aim was.  Trust me.  And the day that you finally hit the bull’s eye?  That, my friend, will be a Red Letter Day.

*If you don’t get out of bed, the dog will pee on the carpet.  This isn’t a glamorous reason to face the day, but it’s a Good Hardy Practical one.  Sometimes that’s all a person needs.

*You know all the lyrics to Pat Benetar’s Hit Me With Your Best Shot.  The world needs you.

 

*You don’t know all the lyrics to Pat Benetar’s Hit Me With Your Best Shot.  Learning them should be your next priority in life.  We’re talking prime karaoke mic time here, friend.

*Two words:  Hemsworth Brothers.  Almost as good as bacon ice cream.

 

*Somebody, somewhere has made a new Chuck Norris joke.  And you don’t not get out of bed for new Chuck Norris jokes.

*Bacon ice cream.  It bears repeating.

I hope that if your new reason for getting up in the morning fails you, these secondary ideas serve you well.

Hugs-n-kisses,

Mynniesue

p.s.  I really, really hope that it’s not my wall you’re planning on humiliating-post-bombing.

Letters from Mynniesue: Dishwasher Tutorial

To the dear soul who found my blog searching for How does soap box open on dishwasher:

I want to help.

Doing dishes is hard.  It’s a chore nobody likes.  A dishwasher is meant to make that job easier, not harder.  And it breaks my heart to think that you came to my blog looking for an answer, and got none.

Let me walk you through it, dearest (go ahead and bookmark this page in case you need help with it again).

First, you need to open the dishwasher.  That’s the big door on the front.  Mine is black.  Yours might be white, or stainless steel, or covered with wood to match your cabinets.  It might even be old-school Harvest Yellow or Avocado Green.  That’s okay.  Dishwasher diversity is a good thing.  Don’t be a hater; embrace it.

Once your dishwasher is open, look at the inside of the door.  There you should see the soap dispenser, or as you put it, the soap box.

Gently push the little blue lever (again, yours might be a different color),

and the lid will spring open.  It’s almost like magic!

At this point I like to shout abracadabra! or voila! or, if I’m feeling particularly Kansas-y, yeeeee-haw!  Vocalizing my excitement doesn’t help the dispenser to open, but it makes the moment much more enjoyable.  Feel free to borrow my exclamations, or you can come up with your own.  It’s okay to get caught up in the moment.  No one will blame you for your excitement.

Now don’t forget, after you’ve added your soap, to close the lid.  Dishwashers are strong-willed, independent machines.  They like to decide for themselves when to add soap to the wash cycle.  Arguing with them about it won’t help.  Trust me on this.  Dishwashers are stubborn as mules.  Since mine cleans my dishes without complaining, I long ago conceded this area of housewifery control.  I highly reccomend you do the same.

I hope this helps you in your quest, and that you somehow find your way back to my blog and to this post.

All the best,

Mynniesue