Since Myndi is due to deliver Baby Girl Shafer TODAY, I’m holding down the fort at her place. Y’all should SEE what she keeps here behind the scenes of her blog. I could play in these tiaras for days!
In honor or Myndi’s big event, I thought it might be nice to include tips on Labor and Delivery and the products my honey and I liked during pregnancy and beyond. But there’s something else she’ll be up to in a few days that’s the bigger event for most parents.
What about that moment when you’ve delivered the child and the hospital releases you to go home? Or when you have a home birth and the last childbirth professional walks out your front door?
I remember looking at the nurses rushing around our room, trying to discharge us from the hospital and shooting my husband a look that begged him to “please get them OUT of here for a minute!”
Thankfully, he got the memo and asked for a few minutes of privacy to feed the baby. The second they left, I started crying.
Disclaimer for the new and future moms: You’re going to do that spontaneous weeping thing a lot more often than you expect.
When a new mom builds up hormones for 9 months and starts offloading them at a rapid pace (after the baby is born) emotions can get a little rocky. Especially, if you were a high-risk pregnancy (which thankfully is NOT the case with Myndi), you’ve been worrying for MONTHS.
Even if a new mom doesn’t get official post-partum depression, new parents can expect to be exhausted and, well…emotional.
I remember looking at my hubby over Baby Girl’s head, with big crocodile tears pouring down my face, and saying, “We’re actually going to take her home? Now?”
Him: “Well, we’re not leaving her HERE.”
Me: “I know that!”
Him: “It’s going to be fine.”
I wanted to ask him, “How do you know?” But the hardest part of being a new parent is the realization that NO ONE really knows what they’re doing, especially you.
You can take every parenting class in the world (and you should, just to get some comfort with the basics) and your new child is still going to stump you with some issue that you’ve got no answer for. Probably in the middle of the night. It doesn’t even matter if you’ve already had a few, like our pal Myndi. You’ve never had this baby.
You are now in charge of keeping this little being safe and there will be a moment of terror, sometime in that baby’s first few weeks of life, when you wonder how the hell you’re going to do that.
I can give you some practical tips to help you get a little more sleep, but I cannot help you wrap your brain around that concept of 100% responsibility for the safety and well-being of your first child.
But I’ll be happy to listen while you vent. 🙂
Did any of you parents have jitters the first time you were alone with your new baby? What do you remember as your “what in the world is this child doing” moment? For any of you who are pregnant now, what are some of the things you’re worried about? We’d love to hear about it.
*Pssst…if our questions rock hard enough, maybe Myndi will show up with a baby update!*
About Jenny Hansen
Jenny fills her nights with humor: writing memoir, women’s fiction, chick lit, short stories (and chasing after her toddler Baby Girl). By day, she provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s digging this sit down and write thing.
When she’s not at her blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at jhansenwrites or at her group blog, Writers In The Storm. Every Saturday, she writes the Risky Baby Business posts at More Cowbell, a series that focuses on babies, new parents and high-risk pregnancy.
40 thoughts on “GUEST POST: Holy Mother of God! That Baby is Going Home with ME??!! by Jenny Hansen”
Just checking in to let Myndi know I’m thinking about her.
You too (of course), Jenny. GREAT kick-off to Myndi’s guest posts for these first weeks of New Babydom. Love that precious pic of your Baby Girl’s first car ride.
I’m sure Myndi will be checking in to her blog once she’s awake for longer than it takes to feed Little Miss Took. 🙂
God, she was so tiny when we put her in that seat…and then some guy in a green truck came like 6 inches from hitting us. I wanted to clobber him and yell, “We JUST got her!!!.”
I’m not a mother yet, but I remember the first time I held my baby brother, wondering “How is it possible to love someone this much when I just met them?”
You’ll be a great mommy, Emma…I can tell. 😉
LOL, Jenny! I know exactly what you mean. When hubs was wheeling me out of the hospital with our first-born in my arms, we kept looking at each other. Finally, one of us (I forget which one, it was 19 yrs ago) said: “I can’t believe they’re really going to let us leave with him. Isn’t someone going to run after us and say ‘Stop! Where are you going with that baby?'”
We were both thinking the same thing! No license? No certification? No home inspection? WTH? Even with #2 and #3, it was a little like that.
*waves to Myndi* Congrats, hunny! Enjoy little Alice, and be good to yourself. You did a fab job, and deserve a lot of pampering!
I know…what’s up with that NO CERTIFICATION thing? You’d really think they’d make you do *something*. It’s good to know it happens with subsequent babies too.
I remember it well even though it was more than 20 years ago!
Send my congratulations to Myndi!
WOW! You look hot, Susie. Mine’s almost two and I sometimes I wonder if she’ll see twenty. 🙂
OMG! You made my day, week and month! I am getting older, but get a lot of facial exercise and laugh lines smiling at posts like these all day!
I think you never stop worrying about them no matter how old they get! My oldest is 22 and a boy, so yah, I get my hair colored regularly…Have a great weekend!
HUGE Congrats to Myndi! I’m asking to virtually hold that beautiful baby. Ah, so sweet.
As to the post, I remember a friend asking me a few months after we had our first what the biggest surprise of parenthood was for me. I quickly answered, “It’s constant.” There was no real down-time because I was always on call. Everything suddenly revolved around this baby (who had terrible colic, by the way), and I was hyper-alert 24/7. I don’t miss that part of the infant years.
I am hyper-alert now for different reasons: my sons are entering the teenage years. God help me.
I just re-read that comment, and it sounds so negative. I really do believe children are a blessing. Worth every hair-pulling, brow-sweating moment.
I don’t think you sound negative at all, Julie. That’s a very realistic description. I think it’s the 24/7 that wears the new parents out. That load of responsibility is a lot to get used to.
And OY, teenage boys! The only thing worse, having been one, is teenage girls. 🙂
I’ve had four, and ‘baby’ is in the midst of first year university exams. I was okay going home from the hospital with baby numero uno, got home, he was asleep, and all I could think was, now what do I do with him?
And then the colic kicked in.
Great post, Jenny. Best wishes, Shafer family!
OMG, my sister had colic and it was miserable. I’ve always wondered how the parents of colicky babies got brave enough to have another and here you are, having FOUR. Wonder Woman… 🙂
I was around children all my life, so bringing home our first was not a big deal. but there was a moment about 6 weeks later when I was nursing him late one night and it hit me – I am responsible for this person for the rest of my life. that was huge. I knew I could keep him safe and healthy and well as a little one but the never ending aspect of parenthood really shook me up…and I am still a parent, although the form is a little different. after all what that teeny tiny baby needed then is a far cry from the support and love my 41 yo son needs.
congrats to Myndi and her family. enjoy
That is so well put, Louise. I agree, and it sounds like that’s the concensus here – the 24/7 FOREVER part is the hardest. And I wouldn’t trade a moment!
I had my little man at home after a realllllllllllllly long labor. After showering, slipping into a bed with fresh, clean sheets, and saying goodbye to family and midwives, I just laid in bed snuggling with my little guy. I didn’t have the “he’s going home with me?!” moment, since that is where he started. I think I had more of a “no one will ever take you from me” moment. 🙂
I did have fleeting moments of panic – “oh my goodness, how do you give someone so small a bath?” – but my parents live down the street, so that’s when I pulled out the phone and told my mom she needed to come over. 🙂
Myndi – so excited and happy for you. Hope you are resting and snuggling with your little one!
Amber, I’ve always admired you, but now you’re my hero(ine)…long labor at HOME. Dang. So lucky your parents live so close. 🙂
I’ll never forget watching the nurse in the hospital give baby her first bath – they’re tumbling her around like she’s unbreakable and I was kind of freaking out.
Plus, the nurses were annoyed that I wanted to get up and take a picture (since it was the night of my C-section). But I couldn’t miss the first bath!!! LOL.
I am grateful every day that my parents live down the road. My dad sat in the living room through the whole thing, looking absolutely grief-stricken listening to me moan and groan through it all.
(He insisted on being in the next room, for, in his words, if anything went wrong he was going to scoop me up and put me in his car and drive me to the hospital himself. He was a little leery about the home birth 😉 )
Jenny – I would have done the same as you – you have to get a picture of the first bath!
Absolutely a must. It was a grainy photo from my cell phone in the dim hospital suite. And I LOVE it. 🙂
I’ve always wished my parents had gotten to meet Baby Girl, but it just wasn’t in the cards for me. Still, she’s named after my mom and she seems to be channeling some of her personality. LOL…
My mom stayed with me the first week after I had my son, when she left I held him and cried, I had no idea what to do with him by myself! Hubby was wise and came home early from work that day.
Alica, you’re so lucky! I’d have loved to have my mom. I did have my husband for the first few weeks though, which was AWESOME. 🙂
Somehow the hubby and I dived right into this parenting thing without the second thought. True, we read all kinds of books and articles beforehand, but, as you said, Jenny, no parenting class (book or an article) can prepare us for everything we need to know. But the parenting instinct kicks in and you just “know” what and how to do it. Although I’m glad we took the class at the hospital for the expecting parents because we learned there oh so well how to swaddle the brand new baby in that teeny tiny blanket 🙂
I’m totally impressed, Angela! And I’m laughing because my hubby was the CHAMPION swaddler. He could wrap that baby tighter than I could ever hope to and she’d sleep for hours that way. It was lovely.
The Happiest Baby on the Block video helped a lot too. 🙂
Great post. I can remember the overwhelming feeling that nothing and no one would ever harm this little person. For the first time in my life I lost the fear, I’d fight a lion, a tiger a bear for this tiny human. Becoming a mother empowered me and made me fearless.
My kids will tell you that any time I’ve ever gone head to head with someone over them I’m one scary mother.
Although I did have a few ‘what the hell am I doing’ moments but that’s perfectly natural. I think this is where social media has become such a huge support network with http://www.mumsnet.co.uk etc., which is so big the government talk to them.
Give Myndi & baby girl a big hug from me.
I love it, CC! And I will totally got to Mumsnet. That’s fantastic. I haven’t had to really go to bat for Baby Girl yet, but she’s starting pre-school soon so I know it’s coming. 🙂
Great guest post, Jenny! Thanks for taking care of things for The Mynster. And thanks for all the great mom advice. I’m one of those women who chose not o have children, I’m very pleased with my choice and it’s great to hear about all the groovy moms who are taking up the slack for me in the “continuing to populate the planet department.”
Wishing all the best to Myndi and the whole family! And as one who does NOT have two-leggers….better her than me! *s* Seriously, I’m thrilled for her, and have enough to do keeping up with my four-leggers (and nobody gets rude if I leave ’em alone for an afternoon).
I miss the days of being able to come and go with no planning, let me tell you. But she is awfully precious…I’ll keep her. 🙂
Can’t think of anyone more perfect for writing this post Jenny!
Congratulations Myndi and Hubby! What a beautiful bundle of joy! Lil Alice is quite a blessing! I hope that your family is enjoying these precious new moments together in peaceful happiness! 🙂
Thank you, Karen! What a sweetie pie you are!!! I’m so excited for the Shafers, I can hardly stand myself…
Jenny, great post. Myndi is a wonder woman. Congratulations on bringing the little one home! Yay! Nothng says joy like a happy family. 🙂 Enjoy this precious bonding time.
You’re so funny! We knew what you meant. 🙂
It is such a whirlwind, bonding time. I can’t imagine doing it with three kids already in the house. Myndi IS wonder woman!
Ugh! Nothing not nothng. grrrr
I’m not a mother, but I have such respect for all women who are. Based on my three sisters—the mothers of my collective 8 nieces—I can vouch for that spontaneous crying you mentioned. 😉
So ecstatic for you, Myndi. Thanks for the great post, Jenny!
You’re welcome, August! And OMG, the tears…there’s nothing like offloading hormones like a freighter in port. It’s brutal. But you’ve seen that already with three sisters. 🙂
Well, I think you did fine and you are right, bringing a baby home is a thrill of a lifetime. All my best to the new mother and babe.
There is nothing like a baby to bring a sense of hope to a troublesome world. My best wishes to mother, baby and the entire family. May your baby be blessed with good health.
Never ask if you are loving your child too much. No child ever suffered from “too” much love.
When people tell you that she is “only crying because she wants attention” ignore those fools and pick her up. Of course she wants your attention. That’s a good thing. Enjoy it while you can. One day she will not need that attention any more and might not even tolerate much of it. Of all that you might do in this world little of it will ever matter except for the love that you are able to give.
Best of luck to Myndi! I think you’ll be writing a lot of guest posts from now on as I can’t see Myndi finding the time for a while. God, I remember my first baby, I had a caesarian and I was afraid to see him because i thought there might be something wrong with him. The second one, no caesarian, and I was the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. Now? Almost grown up and they’re the two most wonderful beings in the entire universe!