I don’t trust writers who say writing is easy, that they have stories rolling around their head just clamoring to get out. It’s very suspect. Every story I’ve ever written has had to be pried out of my head like a dentist with blunt tools trying to extract an abscessed tooth.
Throw a rambunctious three-year-old in the mix who is busier than a squirrel on crack, and you’re looking at an over-stressed momma who goes to great lengths to get her stories on paper.
Like, right now? I’m letting her cover my arm in Washi tape (They’re bandaids mom, and you’re very sick and I’m not a doctor so you’re probably going to die and then my eyes will be sad and hey can I have a banana?). I’ve let her color my entire leg green with permanent marker. I’ve let her bury herself in the dirty laundry. Play with play-dough on the carpet. Cut her dolls hair. Play in the car (not running, in the locked garage, without the keys) naked.
One day a miracle happened. She decided to play quietly, entertaining herself on the couch in my office. I heard her softly talking to our terrier Winston (who is her very best friend and most loyal playmate) and thought, Well, isn’t that nice? and tap, tap, tapped away at my keyboard.
But then I got a chill up my spine. The mom-chill. That little internal alarm that goes off when things are about to go nuclear meltdown. That tiny voice that says, It’s time to get into MomGyver mode.
I spun around on my chair just in time to hear her say “Tinker Bell wants to explore the cave,” and see Tinker Bell’s tiny plastic foot poised to enter Winston’s puckered derriere.
Thankfully the fairy probing of the family canine was stopped (like MacGyver, without a second to spare), and was followed with a very long talk about not putting things in any of Winston’s holes. After that talk I shut down the computer for the day because if fairy spelunking in mammal caves isn’t a cry for attention, I don’t know what is.
TRUE STORY: Being a Work-at-Home momma with a three-year old has its WTF moments, but it is definitely not boring.
p.s. Tell me some of your 3 year old kid antics in the comments. I could really use some parenting solidarity. ❤
Myndi Shafer 
Happily for me I do have the stories bouncing around in my head, but then, my kids are over 40. I promise, dear friend, it gets easier the older they get. One day you will actually have time to write. 🙂
Lucky gal! You do write SOOOO fast. Hella jealous of that! ❤ I'm sure I'll miss her terribly when it's time for Kindergarten. 🙂
And this is why I haven’t returned to my writing just yet. 🙂
Also, “Keep Stuff Out of Holes” sounds like a future book title.
LOL!! I have a couple of friends who write comedic-mommy non-fiction, and they’re epic at what they do.
OMG, I cried with laughter on this one BECAUSE I’VE BEEN YHERE. Thankfully even permanent ink eventually washes away.
You are SUCH a great mom.
I’m sooooo glad I’m not alone! And yeah–those skin cells shed eventually… 🙂 🙂 🙂
I am so laughing. Sorry!
No need to apologize. It’s funny when you’re on the other end (unless you’re Winston, then things aren’t funny AT ALL).
Yes! So much of this! LOL
I do have stories bouncing around my head, but getting then from the warm squishy brains into my computer is a lot of work, esp if I want it to make any sense!
Warm Squishy Brains << I feel like this needs to be the title of a zombie memoir. 🙂
ROFL double time! I’m into 3-year-old grandchild stories now, but nothing as funny as that. Thanks!
Three year olds are so much fun. 🙂 Usually. Usually they are SO MUCH FUN!